So it’s kind of official. The restaurant is probably going to be gone by the end of January. I’m about 97% sure. I guess it’s a good and bad thing… I’m trying to look at it in a positive point of view but I can’t. I kind of feel like I’m losing something that is very dear to me - like losing a big part of me. But I know that the future will be a lot better than this situation.
To continue the story of my god damn life - the god damn landlord is suing my dad. Court is on the 22nd of this month. Just a few days before Christmas and my dad’s birthday. It just really upsets me that we’ve come so far yet we’re ending it on a bad note. The landlord is basically trying to evict us with nothing for us to spare. When my mom died he said the rent would be $3500 when the original price was $4000. Which was very nice of him at the time. Later business slowly went down and sometimes we had to pay less because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to afford it, but he never said anything about it and accepted it. He was being “nice” about it and that it was okay and blah blah. Since the contract was up he wanted all that money back so in the end he wants us to pay $90,000. WTF. How the fuck do we owe 90,000 fucking dollars? So after lowering the rent and shit he expected to pay back 90,000 dollars. First it DOESN’T add up to 90,000 and SECOND we have bank fucking statements, bitch. At the same time he wants us to RESIGN the contract because he wants us to stick around. For one he KNOWS that no one is going to buy our spot of the building only because it’s OLD and NO ONE can afford to BUY it. It’s just more ways to screw us over.
You know, since my dad’s restaurant is underground and the building is old - we’ve had a lot of pipe problems and a lot of leaks. My dad has tried to fix them many of times - fell off ladders - cut his finger, twist his ankle etc… Of course not that much damage because my dad is a strong guy, but the building itself is the LANDLORD’S problem. He never bothered to fix any of that shit. In other words - he doesn’t give a shit.
It confuses me that he seems to can’t wrap his head around the fact that business has been slow and that we can’t AFFORD it along with the fact that HE WANTS US TO STAY. As much as I LOVE to stay because it’s a big chunk of my HEART, I can’t. =\ And I must say that it really really hurts. He’s such a dirty person…. such a FUCKING LIAR. I GAVE HIM MY FUCKING BOND.
So the court hearing is the 22nd and we have to move a bunch of our stuff out… the landlord also claimed that he wanted to also keep the PIANO that was there too.. even though it’s my MOM’S PIANO. Fucking bullshit.
On top of all of this all of my teachers SUCK this quarter. They’re all stupid and retarded and I haven’t learned jack shit. Of course I can’t tell my dad that because I don’t want him to feel like I wasted all of my time and money on a school that just out right sucks even though it’s top 10 in the states >_>. No one understands or believes in me on what I want to do - concept artist. They all think I’m retarded or stupid.
My dad says that once he files for bankruptcy that I have to support him and I have to find a job. Build my credit etc… have everything under my name. That’s another thing… I LOVE my dad to death… but again as I mentioned before… I wish I was one of those regular college students who didn’t have to worry about their parents and are able to move out of the house… go somewhere far… travel around the world and what not. And I don’t want to leave my dad behind like that but at the same time I feel very restricted =\ And I feel like if I leave him behind, I’d be a bad daughter. I’m not going to be like my sister. I don’t want to hear the words, “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a better life,” ever again.
Sometimes I really really despise my life and I know that things can always be worse. I’ve cried everyday so far and I still try to manage to put a smile on my face for people =\ I guess everyone has a story… some may be better than others and some worse.. There’s just a lot of stuff going through my mind and I can’t seem to collect my thoughts… I guess I will end here…
